What Happens When a Texan Drinks

[Larry]

What Happens when a Texan Drinks

A Texan walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and
sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. The Texan guesses there
must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

The bartender says, "Well, you pay ten dollars and, if you pass three
tests, you get all the money."

The Texan certainly isn't going to pass this up "What are the three
tests?"

"Pay first," says the bartender. "Those are the rules."

So the Texan gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do. First, you have
to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila... the whole thing, all at
once...and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit
bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth
with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who
has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things
right for her."

The Texan is stunned. "I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I'm not an idiot!
I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila,
and then do those other things ..."

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on and the Texan has a few drinks, then a few more, he
asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears
are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon all
the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, the Texan screaming, the pit bull
yelping and then... silence.

Just when they think the Texan surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large, bloody scratches all over
his body.

"Now," he says, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"